i should've known .

[brittany nicole hale]

_{this post is tagged for kade marshall trent. it is complete and came to be 1,243 words.
impressive, huh? the lyrics found in this post are from the song dear john by taylor
swift. this post template was created by the one and only luna, who does not appreciate
stealing. additional notes: this was so sad i was crying the whole time. it's so depressing!!!}

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Brittany Hale had so much pain inside her that she refused to let the world see. It was something she couldn’t deal with, and so she locked it away inside of herself, in the deepest darkest corner she could find. But it never stayed in that place for long. It always came bubbling up to the surface when she least expected it. Every time she saw Kade Trent that was what happened. The pain came back to her, hitting her with a full force of agony that made her want to crumble over and just cry her eyes out. After more than a year it was still there, and every time it felt as fresh as the day everything had happened. She was back to that night when she had realized that he had ran away, leaving her with their unborn child. That he had abandoned her when she had really needed him. She hadn’t been angry then. She had just been hurt beyond belief. And then a couple months later the accident had happened. After that the very fabric of her world had crumbled into nothing. Because it was that day that she realized he wasn’t coming back. It was then that all hope she had ever had that he might come back was gone. She had been so sure that he would hear about the accident, about how her brother had been killed at the young age of sixteen. About how she herself had almost died and how she had lost the baby. She had been so certain that he would come back then. That she would be standing there with her family at the funeral and that he would just be there. They would have had to sort some things out, but it would have made everything better. Everything would have just been better.

Everything was supposed to get better. But Kade hadn’t come back. She hadn’t been enough for him to stay and she hadn’t been enough for him to come back. She hadn’t meant as much to him as he had meant to her. And with that realization, everything had fallen apart. Britt had broken Hunter Trent’s heart and she had just about pushed everyone else away. For months she had been nothing but depressed. She hadn’t eaten, had barely slept. She was an absolute mess. Everyone contributed it to her losing her brother and losing her baby. That had been part of it, but the main reason for it had been Kade, as most things were. Kade had left her, abandoned her. And without him, without his love, she just hadn’t known what to do. She hadn’t been able to function and really, she hadn’t wanted to. It was Kaler Scott that had changed things for her. He was the one who didn’t give up on her, that wouldn’t go away. He was just too stubborn that way, and even when she was mean to him he was still there. He was responsible for the Britt everyone saw today. She was still very much broken, but now she could function and live and even enjoy herself sometimes. But those broken, shattered pieces were still as incomplete as the day they had fallen apart. Now she was just better at hiding it. She was far from okay, though. She was so far from it that she doubted it was possible for her to ever be the same again.

Tonight had been Jared and Randi’s wedding, and of course, everything had gone to hell. Britt had managed to get herself and Kade thrown out of the reception, and at the time she had been so angry that it hadn’t really even bothered her. Now it was an hour later and she was feeling it all again. She felt guilty for yelling at Kade like she did, but at the same time she didn’t. He had told her why he had come back. He had come back for Mykayla. He had come back because she was sick. It broke her heart so much to find this out about Kay, but at the same time it awoke that part of her that was in deep and agonizing pain. Kade had come back for his sister, but he hadn’t come back for her. As much as she knew she shouldn’t feel that way she couldn’t help it. It pulled and pulled at her until it couldn’t pull anymore. She couldn’t shake it and the more she tired the worse it got. She had gone home, not planning to leave or see anyone else that night, but the unsettling feeling inside of her just wouldn’t go away. She had changed out of her dress and sat down on the floor of her living room. She had drank a little but quickly gave that up. Eventually she was standing, grabbing her car keys, and getting in her car. She knew she shouldn’t do it. She shouldn’t go and see him, but she just couldn’t not do it. She couldn’t sit at home wondering about it anymore. They had already done this once. Why not just go at it and get it all over with now? After this she could go and just not be around him anymore. She could withdraw and forget, for the most part, that he didn’t exist. But first she just had to know.

She soon pulled into his driveway. She parked her car and marched to the front door, knocking loudly until he finally came and answered it. He didn’t look all that happy to see her, either, but Britt didn’t really care about that. He was never happy to see her, nor was she ever happy to see him. “Why didn’t you come back?” she asked immediately, her voice loud and speaking angry but her face and the tears streaming down her face saying another thing entirely. She was far from angry now, but it was the emotion that typically came through when covering up her feelings of pain and sadness and hurt. It was something that just happened without her meaning it to. As well as Kade knew her, though, there was a very good chance that he would see right through it. “Last year after the accident. You were supposed to come back!” If he hadn’t understood her question, that would clarify everything for him. It was the heart of all of this, the reason for everything. It was all that mattered. “I waited and waited and you never came! You were just gone!” And she hadn’t heard from him anymore. The tears flowed quickly from her eyes and down her cheeks, blurring her vision, but she knew that trying to wipe them away was futile. They would just come back. “Why wasn’t I enough for you!?” This was yelled louder than anything else that she had previously said. It came out strong and fierce and it was the question that broke her heart the most. In a softer voice she continued. “Why did it take Mykayla getting sick for you to come back?” And with that her blue eyes just stared at him, waiting for something of an answer, though after what she had done that night she didn’t deserve any. She wouldn’t have been surprised in the least if he slammed the door in her face. She hoped that he wouldn’t, though, because she didn’t know if she could hold herself together if he did.

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[/blockquote]

[kade marshall trent]

Well, that had been shitty. Kade kicked his shoes off at the front door of the house that he and Jared had shared, though now it was just Kade. Those were his dress shoes, and he would have to remember to pick them up and put them away later before he got them dirty with his work boots but in that moment, he really could have cared less about those ridiculous shoes. He shrugged out of the tux jacket on his way back to his room, still fuming about what had just happened. The wedding of his younger brother and one of their good friends had been a wondrous occasion, full of happiness and just sheer delight that Jared and Randi were getting married and starting out on a new life together. Kade had been honored to serve as the best man and the one that Randi chose to give her away, and he had really hoped that he could make it through the whole event without causing some kind of scene. With Britt Hale there, it had been doubtful from the start, but Kade had tried. He had stuck with a different group of people, staying out of her way and not causing anymore tension than there already was in the reception hall between everyone else. There had been no doubt about it that some serious shit was going to go down that night; Kade had just hoped that he wouldn’t be one of those people to cause his brother and his lovely new wife grief on their wedding day. But, of course that hadn’t happened.

Just thinking about what had went down between himself and Britt Hale was enough to make Kade breathe a heavy sigh of frustration as he got out of that damned tux he had had to wear for the wedding and changed into a pair of sweats and a dark gray t-shirt. He knew that he shouldn’t have said a word to the girl and that he should have just kept on going about his own freaking business, but he hadn’t. Kade had opened his mouth, and had therefore opened himself up to everything that he had gotten. A drink thrown at him, which was why he was getting the hell out of those clothes and getting them ready to be sent to the cleaner’s tomorrow, and then he and Britt had both been excused from the wedding. In other words, they had gotten kicked out and they weren’t allowed back in, which had pissed Kade right the hell off and had caused him and Britt to have the exchange that they had out in the parking lot. She had pushed, and as a result, Britt had gotten her answer. She now knew exactly why Kade was back in Arietta and making her life more difficult than it already was. Maybe it had been unkind to drop that kind of news about one of her close friends like on her like that with no explanation at all, but he hadn’t been in the chatting kind of mood, and he was sure that she hadn’t wanted to hear any of it from him seeing as his presence seemed to unsettle her.

So, now he was changed and had the tux ready to go. He went into the kitchen and grabbed himself a bottle of water before heading back into the living room and turning on the TV, hoping to find something to drown out his own thoughts for a little while. This was just another one of their confrontations that he would have to let go, and he had been doing a pretty good job of overlooking these things, knowing that he deserved most of the anger that she directed at him and not expecting her to ever play nice when they were together, but there were just some moments when the sting of it all really got to him. Tonight had seemed like it was just too far, pushing the boundaries and ruining something that wasn’t their business to ruin. Jared and Randi had deserved more than what they had gotten from Kade and Britt, and that was the thing that got Kade the most about all of this. He was still mulling, still in the process of letting it all go and kind of actually getting into the show that he had put on the TV when Kade saw headlights shine through the window and across the far wall of the living room. It was odd, seeing as Kade wasn’t expecting anyone, and he pushed himself up off the couch to go investigate when there were already knocks on the door. He didn’t have time to glance through the window, though he probably wouldn’t have been able to see well enough through the dark to determine who was here. Kade simply went to the door and answered it, surprised at who he found on the other side. Just when he was getting ready to forget her for the night, there Brittany Hale stood, tears staining her pretty face.

“Why didn’t you come back?” The question was out of her mouth before Kade even had a chance to say anything. It was clear that she was upset, and it was the last thing that Kade had expected when he had opened his front door. He stood there, shocked for a moment and trying to comprehend what was even going on because Britt didn’t seek him out. She didn’t see him if she didn’t have to, and yet here she was pouring her heart out to him. He listened to each word, hearing and seeing the hurt, getting to see for the first time the pain that she had hid so carefully since his return. “Why wasn’t I enough for you!?” That nearly cut him to the core, but he was careful in his expression, and still didn’t say a word until she was done, finally asking why it had taken his sister getting so sick to make him come back. Then Britt’s blue eyes were gazing up at him, waiting for the answers. Kade swallowed, the words seeming to be stuck there in his throat. God, how did he even begin? There was so much to say, so much between them that it was just impossible. But, Britt deserved her answers, no matter how horribly she had acted earlier that night. “I…I didn’t come back because I thought that would be the last thing that you would want. After I left, I knew you would hate me for it and then I heard about the accident. I wanted to come, but I couldn’t make something like that worse for you than it already was. I thought I was doing you a kindness.” But now he saw that he had been so, so wrong, just like he had been about everything else. Kade took a step forward, his hazel eyes still on her pretty blue ones. “I’m so sorry, Britt. If I had known, I would have come back for you.” And there was no way that he could have been more truthful and sincere. His tone was soft, his eyes pleading with her to see the truth of what he had said. He was more sorry than ever, and he was kicking himself in the ass for making so many stupid mistakes with her.

[brittany nicole hale]

_{this post is tagged for kade marshall trent. it is complete and came to be 926 words.
impressive, huh? the lyrics found in this post are from the song dear john by taylor
swift. this post template was created by the one and only luna, who does not appreciate
stealing. additional notes: this was so sad i was crying the whole time. it's so depressing!!!}

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Parker Hale’s death hadn’t been easy on anyone in Brittany’s family. It had affected them all so fully and completely. He had been the life of their family, Parker having this uncanny ability to make just about anyone laugh when he was around. He had been a crazy kid, and Britt had adored her little brother like no other. She had been closer to him even than she was to Jem, which was definitely saying something as Britt and Jem had always been extremely close. They weren’t so much so anymore. Not since the accident, but that was Britt’s own fault. When she had lost her little brother, and been the one responsible for it, had destroyed everything in her that was barely being held together as it was. She had lost so much in the few months that had preceded his death, and it was because of Parker and Hunter together that she had been that way. Without him, she didn’t know what to do. And then Kade hadn’t come back. He hadn’t come back when she so needed him and that was when everything had just shattered. Britt just stopped trying to hold herself together and lost it. She felt abandoned and betrayed, and even a year later those feelings just didn’t go away. He had left her, and it all came back to that. Despite all the people that were around, there to support her and help her through it all, Britt had never felt more alone. Kade had been everything to her, he was without a doubt her entire world, and when he had left, and then didn’t come back, she hadn’t had anything left to hold onto.

And though it was a year later she still had those same feelings. She felt so lost and hurt. She should be over this by now. She should have moved on and made something of herself, but that was far from the case. She was still as big a mess as the day it had all happened, maybe even more so. Everything she said to him in that moment was everything that she had been holding in since he had left her. For more than a year she hadn’t spoken them to anyone. She hadn’t told anyone what it was that really bothered her, what really brought her such pain. Because she didn’t want to talk about Kade. Talking about him made it all worse, it made it all real. And saying out loud that he was never going to come back for her made it all the more real. When she finished all she could do was stand there and wait for some kind of explanation. An explanation for why she hadn’t been enough for him to stay, or even enough for him to come back. She waited for some sort of reasoning as to how he could just leave her for so long when he had said that he had loved her. Because Britt just couldn’t understand it. She couldn’t comprehend it. “I…I didn’t come back because I thought that would be the last thing that you would want. After I left, I knew you would hate me for it and then I heard about the accident. I wanted to come, but I couldn’t make something like that worse for you than it already was. I thought I was doing you a kindness.” She could understand why he would think all that, but he couldn’t have been more wrong. She had wanted him to come back, she had needed him to come back. A kindness would have been his return. But he hadn’t come back and here they were, so broken and hurt that it took them months to get to this point. What had they become?

Kade took a step towards her, and Britt didn’t move this time. This time it wasn’t because she felt she had to hold her ground against him or show him that he didn’t intimidate her. This time she didn’t move because she honestly couldn’t. All she could do was stand there and stare up at him, waiting for all that he had to say and to find some way of getting out the words she had as well. “I’m so sorry, Britt. If I had known, I would have come back for you.” The tears flowed from her eyes even faster, her having no way of controlling of stopping them. “I just wanted you,” she said softly, her voice breaking because of her tears. It was the absolute truth, too. She hadn’t cared about any of the other senseless and petty things. She had just wanted him to come back. “I needed you so badly, Kade. You were the only one I wanted to be here.” She had had Hunter, yes, but as bad as it was, she had wanted it to be Kade every single time. She had loved Hunter, and she did care for him deeply, but he couldn’t even come close to the feelings she had had for Kade. Nothing came close to him. “And I could never hate you. Never.” He might not believe it, but it was the absolute truth. Despite all the ranting and raving she had done these last couple of months, she didn’t actually hate him. It was an entirely different emotion all together. Hate? She could never manage to feel that for him. “You should of come back,” she added softly, the tears still falling hard from her eyes. “I just wanted you to come back.”

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[/blockquote]

[kade marshall trent]

Kade could remember everything about that day that Mykayla had picked up the phone and called him, delivering the news about the accident that Brittany and her younger brother, Parker, had been in. He could remember exactly where he was, what he had been doing, and could probably even pick out the clothes he had been wearing if he had taken the time or cared enough to do so. When he had heard what his sister had had to say, it was like the world had stopped turning for Kade Trent, his heart breaking and there being nothing in his mind except how badly he wished he could go back. Go back home, go back in time…just go the hell back. To hear that Britt had lost their baby was enough to stop everything for Kade, but to hear that Parker had been killed in the accident had literally made him stop breathing. The Trent and Hale families had always been close, all of them growing up together and getting along rather well. Kade had always had that soft spot for Britt, taking more of an interest in her and becoming closer with her than the others, but there had always been Parker there as well. He had been a goof kid, someone that reminded Kade a lot of Jared that way, and someone that you couldn’t help but to love and be friends with. The pain of his death had gone through Kade with great force, and he couldn’t even imagine how his family had dealt with it all.

He had wanted to go back if for no other reason than to pay his respect for his lost friend and to the family that had always been so kind and welcoming to him that was suffering, but he hadn’t. All Kade had been able to imagine was Britt’s tear stained face, and her pretty blue eyes flashing at him with all the hatred in the world. She had every right to hate him, and he knew how their reunion would have gone. Or, at least he had thought he had known, and Kade really couldn’t stand the idea of going back and causing her so much more grief on top of what she was already feeling. His departure was sure to have caused a lot of hard feelings, and his reappearance at Parker’s funeral would have been bound to cause some kind of unwelcomed drama that those people clearly wouldn’t have needed. So, Kade had stayed away, thinking that it was for the greater good no matter how much it hurt him to think of his Britt going through something like that, dealing with the loss of her brother and of her unborn child. Kade had drank a lot in the weeks that followed, drowning out his own sadness and grief, hating himself for making the mistake of leaving her and making it where he couldn’t go back. All of that flooded back through the twenty-five-year-old as he stood there, watching Britt cry and hearing her words, making him realize how foolish he had been to think that she wouldn’t have wanted him there.

She had just wanted him to be there, just wanted him to come back and be there with her through it all and it tore at Kade’s heart to know that he had failed her in doing that. Instead of making things easier for her, he had only made them more difficult to handle without him being there, by making her see that he wasn’t going to be coming back when that was all she had wanted him to do. She claimed that she could never hate him, and while he thought he could believe her, there was no doubt that Kade hated himself for what he had done in leaving her, and what he had continued to do by hurting her so much. “I wish I would have known…I would have been here in an instant.” He would have drove straight through, no stops, no breaks. He would have been there as fast as he could have possibly been. Kade gazed at Britt for a moment, the two of them seemingly locked on each other in those old trances they used to share, communicating so much without ever having to say a word. “You should come inside. It’s freezing out here.” Kade stepped aside, giving her room to walk on by him and hoping that she would accept his invitation. He knew better than to think that this solved everything and that they could pick up from where they had left off, but he was hoping that they could start from somewhere after finally airing it all out. Kade watched as she entered the house, closing the door behind her. “And, Britt… I’m so sorry, for everything I’ve said and done since I’ve been back. I’ve never been angry at you, just at myself. Leaving you was the biggest mistake of my life, and you may not hate me for it, but I do.” He was done with the fronts, done with pretending like it was all in the past. If Britt was giving him a chance to speak, then he was going to use it to try and do what he could for them, because he couldn’t stand seeing what they had become and knowing that he had done this.

[brittany nicole hale]

_{this post is tagged for kade marshall trent. it is complete and came to be 964 words.
impressive, huh? the lyrics found in this post are from the song dear john by taylor
swift. this post template was created by the one and only luna, who does not appreciate
stealing. additional notes: this was so sad i was crying the whole time. it's so depressing!!!}

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“I wish I would have known…I would have been here in an instant.” That one small statement pulled at Britt’s heartstrings, not helping her little issue with tears in the slightest. Because it was all that she had wanted. It was all she had thought about for a very long time. It was also something she had never thought she would hear him say. She had never thought they would ever be here. But here they were, Britt crying on Kade Trent’s front steps. It wasn’t like it was something he hadn’t experienced before. She had found herself at his front door so many times over the years for one reason or another. Her parents fighting, when they were actually together anyway. Her mother giving her a hard time when she actually took the time to care. A bunch of other things. Kade had always been her go-to. She had always felt like she could tell him anything, like she could always depend on him to be there for her. She had always felt that way about him up until a year ago when he had ran away from her and their future. She had never thought he would do something like that. That he would be the one to leave her. Others she expected. Her parents weren’t the best, and in fact were never around, not really caring much about her and her brother and having better things to do. She had had several friends turn their backs on her. A lot of people had walked out of her life, but she had never thought he would be one of them. They were supposed to be together. Britt without Kade... that was something she had never thought about, and few others probably had either. It just seemed to make sense that that was how it was supposed to go. That was who they were.

Now? Britt didn’t even know what to think of this, and she had no idea how to respond. Where did this even leave them? She had spent so long pretending to hate him. She had never actually hated him, though the anger had been genuine. Mostly she had just been hurt, and she hadn’t been willing to let Kade see it. But now that was gone. She had told and showed him everything. One look into her pretty blue eyes and he would know the truth. Because that was how they worked. He could read her like an open book. He had always been able to, and no amount of time could have changed that. “You should come inside. It’s freezing out here.” Britt was surprised by that and she couldn’t help but hesitate for a moment. She stared at him, unsure. Were they really going to be like that? She only hesitated for a moment before she stepped through the front door and into his house. She hadn’t exactly came prepared for the cold and she hadn’t completely realized the temperature until she stepped through the door. She brought the back of her hand to her face and wiped at the tears, but it didn’t completely help as they continued to fall. She tried to stop them, but it was a lost cause. Britt had never once been able to keep herself from crying, or to make herself stop when she had started. It was pointless to try.

“And, Britt… I’m so sorry, for everything I’ve said and done since I’ve been back. I’ve never been angry at you, just at myself. Leaving you was the biggest mistake of my life, and you may not hate me for it, but I do.” She didn’t quite know how to respond to that one either. She could never once remember being tongue-tied or unsure of things around him, but now she just didn’t know what she was supposed to do. She honestly didn’t know why she was even here in his house. She really shouldn’t be. It wasn’t like she had anything all that more to say or that she could do. Where did they even go from here? One thing did come to her mind, though, and as she had nothing, and the guilt was getting to her, she went with it. “I’m sorry too,” she said in a small, broken voice. “I’m sorry I got you kicked out of your brother’s wedding. I’m sorry that I caused so many problems...” She hesitated slightly before she spoke the next part. It came out even softer than anything else she had said, though, because it was this part that she was most ashamed of. “And I’m sorry for what I did to Hunter.” Hunter Trent was an amazing guy, and he deserved so many good things for the things he had done for others, namely her. He hadn’t deserved what she had done to him, even though the last thing she had wanted to do was hurt him. He had been good to her, and honestly, without him, she doubted that the couple of months they were together would have been as good. “He was good to me when you were gone, and he didn’t deserve that.” Her tear-filled eyes looked up and met his. “But he wasn’t you. He could never be you.” It was something so simple, but it hurt to admit. She hated that she placed one above the other, and that it somehow made it sound like Hunter wasn’t good enough. That wasn’t the case in any way, and Kade had to know that, right? They were just two really different people. And where she may have loved Hunter once, it was nothing compared to how fully and completely she had loved Kade. She doubted she could ever love someone as much as she loved him.

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[/blockquote]

[kade marshall trent]

And all of a sudden, it was like the floodgate had opened. All these long months of yelling at each other and getting now where with it had all brought them down to this one night, and suddenly all the defenses were gone. Their yelling was replaced by apologies, glared taken over by tears, and everything that either of them had been feeling finally brought to the surface after so long of trying to keep it all buried just for the sake of staying at a safe distance from each other. Kade didn’t know what had changed between them that had brought Britt to his doorstep, or why things were suddenly so changed, but this was preferred over their fighting any day. Kade had never wanted to fight with Britt, and at first he had done a good job of keeping that extreme temper of his reined in and under control when it came to dealing with this girl, but he had slowly lost his grip and it lead to this uncontrollable anger between them. Now, though, it felt like Kade could finally breathe again. He felt like kicking himself in the ass for making things worse by thinking he would know what Britt wanted but only managing to hurt her even more as a result. He wished like hell he could turn back the clock and make things right, do them all over and do them differently. What Kade wanted was to take everything back, but at least now he could be grateful for the forward progress that they were making, because her standing inside of his house now was definitely progress.

Though, now that they weren’t screaming angry words at each other, there seemed to be some question as to what they were supposed to do. Kade had invited her in, not wanting her to leave, not wanting her to freeze, but not exactly sure what they were going to be able to do about anything. He had said his apologies, and given Britt his exact reason for why he hadn’t come back when she had needed him the most. Kade didn’t know what else there was to really be said, or what it was all going to mean in the morning when they had had time to think about it. He didn’t know what this meant for them, but he really did hope that it was nothing but good things, and that they would be able to find some common ground to start from. There were a lot of “I’m sorry” lines to be said, though Kade didn’t know that Britt had much of anything to be sorry for. She had just been reacting to him; everything that had ever happened between the two of them was his fault and Kade knew that. He wasn’t about to blame this beautiful young woman for hurting because he had left her broken. He knew that this was all on him, and he was slightly surprised to hear her say that she was sorry, though her explanation made it all make a little more sense. Kade was sorry a lot these days, and Hunter was yet another person that Kade knew had been hurt as a result of his sudden departure. Hunter was Kade’s baby brother and probably the best guy that Kade would ever have the pleasure of knowing. Yet, Kade had let him down as well, and he had gotten caught in the crossfire of the mess that was Kade and Britt.

A sigh passed through Kade’s lips, his hazel eyes glancing around before they were back to Britt. “You and I both owe him an apology…. But I think he understood more than you gave him credit for. And I know it’s not my place to speak for him, but he forgave you a long time ago, Britt. You don’t have to beat yourself up over that one.” Hunter was just truly amazing that way. He was a kind, understanding individual that had such a big, compassionate heart. Britt had hurt him by pushing him away like she had, but when Hunter and Kade had had this discussion Hunt had made it clear that he was by no means holding a grudge. He had understood, without a word, and Kade and Britt should both be grateful for that. He took a few steps closer to Britt, closing a bit of the gap between them. “And I hope that you know that you don’t have to be sorry for any of this. I know it’s my fault. I did this…and I don’t know that there is any good way to go about fixing it but I’d like to try.” His hazel eyes searched hers, looking for…anything. “I know how hard that’s going to be, but things can’t stay the way they are. I…I miss you.” Kade Trent was not one for admitting feelings, and Britt would know because it had taken him entirely too long to tell her that he loved her once upon a time. But right now, he couldn’t afford to hold anything back, and he did miss her like crazy. She had not only been his lover, but his very best friend. He had lost all of that, and if there was a chance of getting it back, he would do anything.

[brittany nicole hale]

_{this post is tagged for kade marshall trent. it is complete and came to be 947 words.
impressive, huh? the lyrics found in this post are from the song dear john by taylor
swift. this post template was created by the one and only luna, who does not appreciate
stealing. additional notes: you can let this end here if you want to.}

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Hunter Trent was Britt’s biggest regret. He was the one thing she felt the most guilty about. She had hurt him so badly after all he had been was good to her. He had stood by her when he didn’t have to. The baby had been Kade’s, but Hunter had been ready and willing to step up to the plate and take over where his brother failed miserably. He was great for doing that, and Britt had repaid him in such a horrible way. And she had never tried to apologize or admit she was wrong. She had just ignored him and avoided him, not able to face him or what she had done. It was horrible and something she shouldn’t have done, but at the time she hadn’t really been thinking. All that had mattered was that Kade was gone and that he wasn’t coming back. That had destroyed her. It had taken away her hope and made her feel like she wasn’t good enough for anyone. She had lost so much in that accident, and Kade not coming back had completely crushed her spirit and broken her heart. After that it had just been about functioning. She hadn’t really cared about anything, and she had been that way for a long time. She shut herself away and closed herself off from the world, losing just about every friend she had and everything else that had ever meant anything to her.

Brittany had been best friends with the Trents for as long as she could remember. They had grown up together, all of them close, and she had depended on them a lot over the years. Kade had always been the one that mattered, though, the rest of them always feeling more like family than anything else. Mykayla and Amy were like the sisters she had never gotten to have, Hunter and Jared like brothers to her. And when it had come to Kade, Britt had always, always wanted something more. It had been a long road before that had happened, but when it had Britt had been happier than anything. She never would have thought things could end this badly. But one moment had the ability to change everything. One moment, one decision could make or break anything, and this one had destroyed them. Standing there with it all out in the open like this, Britt honestly didn’t know if they could ever have that back. She missed it desperately, though. Kade had always been her closest friend, a permanent fixture in her life. He knew her better than just about anyone, and she was fairly sure that that was the same even after this year and all they had been through. Sometimes it was almost like he could look right into her soul with a single look. That didn’t feel like something that could ever change.

“You and I both owe him an apology…. But I think he understood more than you gave him credit for. And I know it’s not my place to speak for him, but he forgave you a long time ago, Britt. You don’t have to beat yourself up over that one.” Everyone kept saying that, but she couldn’t really bring herself to believe it. She should take his, and everyone else’s word for it, but she just couldn’t. It was hard for Britt to imagine that he could forgive her after what she did, but then again this was Hunter they were talking about. He was capable of amazing things. But just because he forgave her for what she did didn’t mean she forgave herself. She felt terrible about what she had done. Kade stood a step closer to her. She didn’t move, but tilted her head back just a little more so she could still see him properly. “And I hope that you know that you don’t have to be sorry for any of this. I know it’s my fault. I did this…and I don’t know that there is any good way to go about fixing it but I’d like to try.” She didn’t know if there was any way of fixing this either. They were so broken and so lost. It almost seemed impossible but they could ever be what they had been before. That they could ever be the friends they had once been. “I know how hard that’s going to be, but things can’t stay the way they are. I…I miss you.” Britt realized how significant such a thing was. Kade wasn’t one to openly admit his feelings. It had taken them forever to get together for that very reason. She realized how important this was, and she knew that she felt the exact same way. Slowly she closed the space between them, standing on her toes slightly so she could put her arms around his neck.

It was painful to be so close to him. It was so familiar. She had been in this place many times, and the feeling of his arms around brought back a ton of painful memories to the young girl. She had once taken such a simple thing for granted, never one thinking that he wouldn’t be there. But she had been very, very wrong about that. “I miss you, too,” she whispered softly, holding him tightly and thinking that she might actually never want to let him go. There was no denying that doing this was a big step for her, especially given what had happened not too long ago. She felt like she needed to do it, though, and so she had, and he hadn’t pushed her away. She sincerely hoped he never pushed her away again.

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