|
|
Post by isobel daniella caulfield on Feb 4, 2011 2:02:26 GMT -5
if you didn't mean for it to be this way, you would do something about it. and you quitting smoking is just something foolish for me to ask you to do. you don't have too. if vidette is fine with it then do whatever you want. yeah, it's fine kaler. at least there is someone that wants to pick up the pieces that you broke. so it happens. besides, you don't need to be sorry for anything....it really doesn't matter.
|
|
|
|
Post by kaler ryan scott on Feb 4, 2011 2:07:38 GMT -5
what can i really do about this, iz? vidette's not fine with it. she asked me to stop too, but unlike you she seems to understand that i'm not going to just put it down after smoking since i was seventeen. let me guess, dereck? and it obviously does matter or we wouldn't be having this conversation. you'd be over it.
|
|
|
|
Post by isobel daniella caulfield on Feb 4, 2011 2:13:20 GMT -5
nothing kaler. you can do absolutely nothing to fix this. i just think it is really funny that you expected me to stop drinking like i always have and you get to continue smoking. just saying [ shugs shoulders ] and is it such a bad thing that someone wants to pick up the pieces? obviously me doing it on my own isn't helping, and you don't give two shits about me. and it really doesn't matter. i don't matter to you, you don't matter to me. i felt that i needed to apologize for how i acted at the wedding.
|
|
|
|
Post by kaler ryan scott on Feb 4, 2011 2:18:27 GMT -5
christ, izzy, it's not like i'm not even attempting to keep my end of the deal. i don't understand why it always has to be all or nothing with you. no, it's not a bad thing. i'm fucking glad he's there to try and keep you from doing any real damage to yourself. ...and that's just a load of bullshit.
|
|
|
|
Post by isobel daniella caulfield on Feb 4, 2011 2:23:21 GMT -5
hey i don't care. you do whatever you want kaler. smoke, don't smoke. at this point it doesn't matter. i don't know why, maybe because i hate double standards. and what damage could i possibly do to myself? you already made me promise to stop drinking myself to death, so it's not like i can do anything to really hurt myself now is it? it is not. it is the truth, unless you have something that you would like to share.
|
|
|
|
Post by kaler ryan scott on Feb 4, 2011 12:56:54 GMT -5
[rolls his eyes even though she can't see] oh, i'm sure that you could find other self destructive behaviors. how can you even begin that you don't matter to me when you know that you do? just because i'm with someone else and things haven't been easy between you and i lately doesn't mean that i stop caring.
|
|
|
|
Post by isobel daniella caulfield on Feb 4, 2011 13:14:20 GMT -5
i think you are on crack kaler. the only self-destructive thing i do is drink like a fucking fish. you sure could have fooled me. we haven't be anything like what we used to for a long time now. i know why and so do you. you just stopped, and it sure feels like you stopped caring.
|
|
|
|
Post by kaler ryan scott on Feb 4, 2011 14:21:30 GMT -5
i give you enough credit for you to come up with something else to do since you aren't drinking like a fucking fish now.... no, we haven't, but i didn't expect things to go right back to normal. i know i hurt you, and i was giving you space and time, but don't think for a second that i don't care about you. not being able to talk to you like i used to has been hard, iz, but this is exactly why we aren't how we used to be. every time i try, it always comes right back to you doing this.
|
|
|
|
Post by isobel daniella caulfield on Feb 4, 2011 14:26:28 GMT -5
hmm, maybe i'll start cutting. that will give me something to do that is self-destructive. i didn't either, but i never expected it to be like this! this is torture in itself; i have to see you with her and feel tortured, and now i lost my best friend? then act like you give a damn! act like you care a little bit, it isn't that much to ask! [ frustrated voice ] this is not my fault kaler!
|
|
|
|
Post by kaler ryan scott on Feb 4, 2011 14:38:52 GMT -5
very funny. you didn't lose your best friend, but you are well on your way if you think that acting like this is okay. i know how much this sucks for you, and i'm sorry that this is what i did, but you need to get over it. and how do i not act like it? damn it, izzy, i care but i can't stand to talk to you because every time i do it's you blaming me and vidette for something that i shouldn't have to keep defending to you. [is clearly pissed]
|
|
|
|
Post by isobel daniella caulfield on Feb 4, 2011 14:44:16 GMT -5
if i thought it was okay i wouldn't have called you to try and apologize for being a bitch at the wedding. no, i don't think you understand how bad it sucks. but whatever, it's not a big deal. you know what kaler, i am over it. i'm over completely over this. you don't need to defend anything to me anymore, because i don't fucking care. i hope you are happy with her, and if you hate talking to me so fucking much then don't do it!
|
|
|
|
Post by kaler ryan scott on Feb 4, 2011 14:49:29 GMT -5
i'm not just talking about the wedding. i'm talking about all of it. how do you expect me to keep being your friend if all i ever feel when i talk to you is how much you don't want me around because it hurts you? good, maybe if you get over it we can go back to how it used to be without you sounding like a fucking broken record about how horrible i am for being happy. i only hate talking to you when you're like this.
|
|
|
|
Post by isobel daniella caulfield on Feb 4, 2011 14:54:17 GMT -5
god kaler, i want you around. yes it hurts, yes it sucks, but i still want you! i want us to go back to fucking normal because this just feels like we are a million miles apart and i hate it. well this is me being over it. i am so over it that i don't think that i want to remember any of it. happy? that isn't what you said, you said you hate talking to me. so i gave you the option. don't do it.
|
|
|
|
Post by kaler ryan scott on Feb 4, 2011 15:03:05 GMT -5
then fucking act like someone i would want to be around and can actually talk to without feeling like i have to watch every god damn word i say, because i've had to do that too much with you and i'm just done with it. i want to go back to way that we were, and that was never who i had to be with you. it's whatever, izzy. really.. i'm just tired.
|
|
|
|
Post by isobel daniella caulfield on Feb 4, 2011 15:11:45 GMT -5
hey! i am trying here! i am calling to apologize to you for trying to beat the shit out of your girlfriend and drinking my fucking face off. you don't have to watch what you say or what you do anymore kaler. i want us to be normal, because this is just crazy. we are either just screaming at each other or just being miserable. we were never like this before, and i hate it. and you don't think i am over it too?
|
|
