save me i'm lost

[evan arlene matthews]

It had been a while since Evan had really talked to Kaler Scott, a man that was still so very close to her heart. She was always going to love him, and that was never going to change. She knew that he was always going to have that special little place in her heart, and maybe that was why she had put as much space between the two of them. She was tired of being jerked along and played with, and even though she had asked for it when it came to him cheating on Izzy she never expected to feel like that. When it came down to it, Kaler would always be who her heart wanted to be with. He was the father of her son, and it was hard on her. She had always wanted their little family to work, but it didn’t. So rather than find herself getting more attached, she spaced herself from him. She had taken to his tactic of dealing with shit, and she found herself spending a little too much time in Fusion Nightclub. That was when she had met her newest interest Noah Whitmore. He was one of the owners of the club, and he always knew how to take things off her mind. When she went into the club, never once had she had to pay for a drink. Not once, and he was her most recent addition to the friends with benefits group. It was something that Evan had really done until things had ended with Kaler.

She had no idea what had even possessed her to get in her little blue mustang, yeah she was badass like that, and drive over to Kaler’s house. She knew that Peyton had moved in with him, and she was really happy for that. He needed someone to keep him grounded and aware of what was going on around him. But she had the need to tell Kaler about Noah. For some reason she had started to develop some kind of feelings for him. He had worked his way into her life, and not just in the let’s fuck and me leave now way. Nope, Noah actually was talking and taking her out on dates and everything like that. She really did like him, but she knew that if she did not tell Kaler about the new guy in her life she was going to be totally screwed. She pulled up to the driveway, and there was the jet black camaro. Evan smiled brightly, when she grabbed her hat and put it back on her head bundling herself for the snow that was falling as she parked and made her way up to the door. This had become familiar, but it had been so long since she actually seen him. She smile she had just had was slowly disappearing as she waited for the door to open, she realized that this was probably a horrible idea. Evan had started to turn back to where she had come and go to her car, when she heard the door open. She looked back and there was Kaler staring at her with that look of what the hell do you think you are doing. Evan’s eyes were dancing with confusion over what to do, and she spoke quietley “Hi, I ummm, I shouldn’t be here.”

[/color] She stood there frozen, but realizing that she definitely should not be there as she stared into his icy blue eyes.
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[kaler ryan scott]

<sup>He really couldn’t even remember the last time that he had just sat down and done something like this. The life of Kaler Scott had been pretty interesting of late, whether it was a couple of weeks ago when he was screwing around and seriously thinking that he was this close from rock bottom, or presently when he had a whole new, refreshed kind of outlook on things. The twenty-five-year-old had certainly been up to a lot lately, most of which were his own dirty little secrets but the latest news was something that he would gladly share. Somehow, Kaler had found a redeeming moment and had actually gone to make things right with this beautiful woman that he loved very much. Vidette Garland had found it in her heart to love him back, and now they were a real couple, sharing in a relationship that felt like it had all the promise and potential in the world to be the real thing. He had never experienced these kinds of feelings with anyone before, and while there were moments when he couldn’t believe that he was really that damn lucky to have gotten a girl like Viddy, he was surely glad that he did. There was no doubt in Kaler’s mind that she was it for him, but it was far too early for that kind of talk. That afternoon, though, Kaler was without his other half as she had work and he had nothing to do until his late shift that evening at the bar. So what was the young man doing that he hadn’t been able to do in a long time?

Most still wouldn’t be able to picture Kaler at Yale University, working his ass off in between football practice and partying to earn himself a degree in literature. Hell, a lot of people probably didn’t believe that he had ever read an actual book, but those were the people that hadn’t been to his home and saw his bookshelves full of books upon more books. Kaler was an intelligent man and he had so much knowledge in his head, but it wasn’t like he boasted about it or really even seemed like the type that would have ever studied philosophy, art history, French, or anything beyond what was required of him. One look at his books and you would see him differently, but today Kaler was laid out on the couch with a more contemporary read of Stephen King’s The Green Mile. The movie was amazing by any standard, and it was one novel that Kaler had yet to read. It was good to get back to those old roots, good to have an afternoon that was just easy like this. Kaler was easily lost in the story, having yet to move from the couch since he had picked it up, Dani curled up by his legs as she dozed happily there with her owner. The silence of the afternoon was only interrupted when Kaler heard a car door outside, the Australian Shepherd perking her ears up before jumping down on the floor to go see who was here. Kaler sat his book down and also got up before heading to the door, taking a look out the window to see none other than Evan Matthews turning and heading back for her car. She hadn’t even knocked, and Kaler quickly opened the door, looking after her wondering just what the hell she was doing.

She must have heard the door open, and Dani rushed out into the cold to greet her. Kaler was confused when she said that she shouldn’t be there. “Why would you think that? Come in.” Why this girl would ever think that she shouldn’t have come was far beyond Kaler, but he took a step back and allowed her to step in, then waited for Dani to reenter the house as well before shutting the door. “What’s up Evan?” he asked, still somewhat confused and also curious.</sup>

[evan arlene matthews]

Evan Matthews had no reason that she should have been there. What had possessed her was beyond her because no one in their right mind would go to the place that she knew she was not welcomed. She had heard about her ex-boyfriend finding love with some new girl around the town. Not something that the blonde was very excited about, but that was who she was. She was in love with him on some level, and that was always going to there. He was in love with someone else, and she had known that. Even whenever he was with Izzy, she knew that it was not who she was to worm in and ruin something for Kaler. If this girl was making him happy, as much as she wanted him for herself she was going to move one with her life. At least that is what she was going to tell him whenever she had jumped into her Mustang and drove over to the all too familiar house. But as she pulled into the drive way and walked up to the door she was wrong. She knew the feelings that she had for Kaler were never going to go away. She was always going to have that pull towards him, that was why she needed to just get back in her car and go home.

That was when the door opened and she was caught like a deer in headlights. She knew without a doubt that she should not be there. Everything about this was wrong, and yet there was the look that got her completely stuck. The only thing that knocked Evan out of her trance was Dani. The beautiful dog cam out and greeted her like she always did, but Evan knew that she should not be there. His words were enough to get her in the house, but Evan kept biting her lips. She tended to do that when she was legitimately nervous about something, and seeing as how she was alone in Kaler’s house was something to be nervous about. Her heart was thudding against her chest whenever she was this close to him, she felt like she was sixteen again. That life was long since past, but it was still tangible. If she really focused she could remember the campus and all their sneaking around. The taste of his skin, the spark whenever he snuck a kiss in between classes, how his hand gripped hers through the halls; Evan knew this was why she should not be there. But she had come to tell him that she was moving on. She had found someone that actually wanted her in a way that Kaler never was going to want her again. It was hard to admit, but it was the truth. She knew that. So she stepped into the house and let her eyes find his blue ones trying to figure out what to tell him about everything. She tried to smile, but she was not herself. Normally she was bright and bubbly, but now she was just being her secluded self. She was not ready to let him back in her life after distancing him so well the past couple of weeks. “Umm, never mind. Just don’t ask alright. I don’t really want to tell you why I shouldn’t be here. It is lame, but there is something I came to talk to you about though. I just... Kaler this is hard.”

[/color] She looked up at him and was just sad. She could not tell him that she was falling for some other guy and that she still was in love with him. Evan still had her coat on ready to bolt out of the house, she had no idea why she had even driven over here.
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[kaler ryan scott]

<sup>It dawned on Kaler that he hadn’t seen this blonde haired beauty in a while. After their tryst at her house, it seemed that they hadn’t spoken as often as they usually do, though Kaler barely had time to notice with everything else that he had been doing. If he wasn’t out screwing around with someone else behind his girlfriend’s back, he had been trying to cater to said girlfriend so that she would now suspect a thing, working, or too busy lost in his own black hole of dismal thoughts. It was sad to think that sometimes, there was just not time in your life for everyone. Evan had once been the girl that Kaler had made his life revolve around, the girl that had meant more to him than anyone else. She was his high school sweetheart, and they had once thought that they were going to have a family together when one night had led to her high school pregnancy. She remained a close friend to Kaler, him willing to do anything for her but sometimes they didn’t get to talk or catch up with each other as often as Kaler would have liked despite the small town that they lived in and how close their homes were. But, their recent distance from each other was almost understandable, but it still didn’t make any sense of what she was doing here now and why she thought that she shouldn’t be.

As far as Kaler was concerned, he and Evan had been and always would be close enough to tell each other anything that they needed to share. He had let out frustrations about his relationship with Izzy to her, and she should have realized that no matter what it was that she was going through that he would be there for her. Kaler didn’t always have the best advice in the world, and sometimes what he said was the complete opposite of the correct thing to do, but he did honestly try to be a good person when he was helping others out. His methods were questionable, at the very least, but he tried just the same. Seeing Evan like this worried him, though. This girl was usually so happy and perky, but Kaler could tell that she was struggling just to fake a smile for him now. What she said really concerned him, too, the worry sure to show through those intense blue eyes of his. Evan didn’t talk this way, and it really worried him that something was wrong, or that something had happened. He didn’t know what this something could be that she didn’t think that she should be there, and she didn’t want to tell him why, and his mind was reeling with the worst case scenarios. He stepped closer to her, eyes meeting hers and hoping that she wouldn’t bolt out the door just because he was closer now. “What did you want to talk me about? What’s wrong, babe?” Kaler’s voice was quiet, his concern for her right now showing through in the tone of his voice as he watched her, ears eager to hear this because he really wanted to help, whatever this was.</sup>

[evan arlene matthews]

Evan missed how her life had been in high school; it was easy and care free. She had been with someone that actually loved her, and when she was finding out about her pregnancy she had finally thought that her world was right. Everything was simple and wonderful, and Kaler had been amazing. So had his mom and dad when they met her, but then she lost the baby. Evan had quickly dived into a see of darkness and she had worked on pushing Kaler as far away from her as humanly possible. She was lonely and he graduated not even a month after the miscarriage. That was when they ended things, and looking back it had always been a good thing. They would have hated each other, and sure she hated him for her own reasons but it was nothing he could change. He needed to go to college, and she did too but that was a year away. She was a daydreaming as she stared at him blankly in front of the door. She could tell that he knew she was upset, it had always been that way. He always knew the small things with her, and her eyes looked at him with sadness.

The fact that he was moving closer to her really just wanted him to push him back. The closer that he got the more her skin craved to touch him, and that was never going to go away. Evan was that girl, and the love that she had for her high school sweetheart. She knew that she could tell him everything, but this was one thing she was kind of dreading. She knew how protective Kaler was over her, and she just did not want him involved in what was going on with her and Noah. The only issue with that was that he needed to know. Kaler had a right to know that she was not going to be around pining over him, wishing that he had made the choice of her over whomever he was seeing now. Evan’s eyes were glued to him as he took a few steps closer to her, she could tell that he was worried about her. Worried that whatever it was that was going on with her was too big. She had looked at him with sadness and hurt, and then again he knew this. Hearing him call her babe, just made her want to kiss him. Close the distance between the two of them and just do what she wanted, but that would not be fair to his new girlfriend that she had heard he was in love with or to Noah. “You have to stop doing that Kaler. I can’t keep playing this game with you. You know how I feel about you, but this has to end. I can’t keep loving you....but there happens to be a guy that wants to be with me. I am just confused...because as much as I want to be with him, there is still the want to be with you. That is why I haven’t been around...I can’t keep loving you.”

[/color] A single tear slid down her cheek as she spoke, because she knew that she needed to tell him this. She knew that she had to stop, especially in order to tell him that she wanted to move on with Noah.
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[kaler ryan scott]

<sup>Ever since he had come to know her, Kaler had always been protective over Evan. At first it was more of a territorial thing, her being his girl and him naturally standing up and defending what was his when those other high school pricks had made their advances. But, as he had gotten to know her more, and as he had fallen in love with her, it and started to run much deeper than that. He cared for this girl so much, probably more than what she would ever truly be able to realize, and Kaler would do whatever he could to make sure that she was okay, no matter what the situation may be. If some guy had gone and broken her heart, you could bet that Kaler would be the one to go and rearrange his face. If it came down to saving him or saving her, Kaler would choose to save Evan every single time. She was one of those people that Kaler would take a bullet for, do whatever he had to. So, seeing her like this was not sitting well with the young man at all. That protective instinct had kicked in, him ready to jump to her aide and do anything that he could to change this sad, sad girl that he saw before him back to his perfectly happy Evan that he had known, and loved all those years ago.

“You have to stop doing that Kaler. I can’t keep playing this game with you.” That stopped him where he stood, Kaler tilting his head to the side ever so slightly and not understanding what she was getting at. What did he have to stop doing? Calling her babe? Kaler had always called her that, from the time that they had met in high school all the way through their current friendship. It was just a habit, a pet name and nothing meant by it. As for games, Kaler had stopped playing games. But as he listened to the rest of what Evan had to say, it all started to make more sense. He had known that with their history, it was hard to give up one another. When he had gone back to Texas for the summer before he had started college, Kaler had thought that it was going to be damn near impossible to get that girl out of his head, but he had found the strength within him to give up on all those invalid dreams and start anew. He had figured out how to move on, but there were still moments when he wondered what it might have been like if they hadn’t forced themselves to, and if they could have made it. Evan seemed to be stuck there, all those feelings still there for him and her unable to move forward because of them. That tear that rolled down her cheek damn near killed him, and Kaler had to step closer then, bring his hand to her face and gently brushing that tear away with his thumb. “It’s always come down to that, hasn’t it? Evan…you don’t have to stop loving me; I never stopped loving you. I just love you in a different way.” He lowered his hand away from her face, knowing that no one would ever suspect this sweet side of Kaler, but Evan had seen it first hand when there were no outer walls hiding it away. “But this guy…he had better be something damn special if he can make you this upset and make you think you have to come here and tell me this.” Otherwise, Kaler was going to have to kick his ass.</sup>

[evan arlene matthews]

Evan was tired of playing this game with Kaler. Somehow she knew that he was always going to be there to protect her, like he had done every day since they day that they had met. He never ceased to amaze her, and even thought this was insanity that she felt so awkward around him. But that was not the case, because she had to tell him what was really bothering her. Every time that she managed to get alone with Kaler she just wanted his skin against her, his lips against hers, everything that she was not supposed to feel. The only problem with all of this was the Kaler had long since left those feelings behind. He was able to move on with his life without her, but for her he still stopped her world. Evan had given up hope that she was ever going to get over this feeling, but there was that nagging feeling that this was going to end soon. It had been years since anything had happened with Kaler, alright unless she counted him cheating on his girlfriend, but she still could not let go of him totally. That was why she had come over here, she needed to tell him about the guy that had wormed his way into her life. Which was why this was so hard, because she was letting go. This was Evan letting go of the world that she had lived in for so long, a world that was comfortable and safe.

Staring in those eyes of his made it so damn hard for this. She wanted to just break down and kiss him, but she knew that his new girlfriend would not appreciate her breaking down Kaler into a cheating whore again. But hey what good was Evan if she could not wrap her little finger around him? But she knew that Kaler had stopped playing games with her, but at the same time she had not stopped. She still wanted and dreamed about what life would have been like if she was a mom and that she was his wife. Those thoughts never went away, but she was going to give them up. Eventually she would have those thoughts about someone else, and that was what brought her there. Ever since that night in the bar, Noah had made it perfectly clear that he wanted something more than just sleeping with her. Not that sleeping with her was a bad thing, but that was what he wanted. She felt him even closer to her now, and then his thumb against her cheek. Kaler never had been able to stand her crying, even when they said goodbye it had not been goodbye until she finally stopped crying. She listened to him, and she shook her head. This was too hard for Evan to listen. “Yes, it has. But if I don’t stop loving you Kaler, I am never going to move one. I can’t love you differently. It just doesn’t work that way, and you did stop loving me.”

[/color] She looked into his icy blue eyes and then he started to say how this guy had better be worth it. She knew that if Kaler did not approve he would just make it a living hell. “Well he is pretty special. I mean he makes me feel like we were in school. It’s Noah, he owns the night club, but he treats me like a princess. Kaler, I think I could fall for him, and if that happens I have to give you up. Which is why I cannot keep loving you. Do you understand now?”[/color] She needed him to either tell her that this was okay or tell her what he knew about Noah.
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[kaler ryan scott]

There was a lot that could be said about Kaler Scott, but no one would ever be able to say that he had would mean to hurt Evan. Back in their days at boarding school together, Kaler had been something of a different person, someone that wasn’t so cocky and arrogant, someone that hadn’t felt the need to thrive off of his ability to manipulate and use others. That was who he had had later become, and who he was putting a stop to being after having been given an incredible second chance with Vidette. But, no matter whom he had been and when, Evan had always held a special place inside of Kaler’s heart. She had been that girl that had made his world once, the one that he could stop and imagine a future with. When they had stopped seeing each other after their baby had been lost, that had never been to hurt the young blonde that he was leaving behind in order to start a new life. It had been about being able to get that new start, and even as Kaler kept in touch with Evan over the years and made attempts to see her though they were headed in two different directions, he had thought that she was moving on just as he was. They were making new lives for themselves, but Kale had never realized how hard she clinging onto the old life that they had once shared.

He had always felt that maybe she felt too much for him still, but that was just Evan. She had always been a loving, caring soul and Kaler hadn’t thought much more of it until recently. He had been able to feel her attachment, as well as feel it that afternoon that he had gone to her home and they had had something of a reunion. But once again, Kaler had just assumed that it had something to do with all of those old feelings rushing to the surface, getting a breath of fresh air after the two of them had slept together again for the first time in so long. He hadn’t meant to lead her on or to play a game, as she had called it, and Kaler would never be careless with Evan’s feelings. What he had said to her had been meant to help and nothing else, but she didn’t seem to believe that he could still love her, or that she would be capable of loving him in any different way than what she did. He just shook his head, wishing that she knew how untrue her words were but unable to find a way to correct her. Kaler was good with words and their arrangement, and he could get his point across easily, but she was so clearly in distress that he didn’t think that anything he said would make sense to her now. So, he stood there and listened patiently about this new guy in her life that she wanted to be with, but as soon as she dropped her name the sad and worried expression on his face changed drastically. Kaler tried not to visibly frown. “I understand, Evan, but…Noah? Really?” The two young men did not get along, and Kaler did not like this new development. “That guy is an ass hat with a bad attitude. He’s the one you want to be with?”

[evan arlene matthews]

Evan Matthews was always the sweet innocent girl who never did wrong to anyone. She had always been the kind soul that everyone always adored, but it had been a certain blue eyed boy that had captured her heart those many years ago. From that point she had shared that fairytale romance, even had been on the verge of a family, but instead that had dissipated and left her heartbroken. Kaler had protected her, even after the whole thing happened. They had still remained good friends even after he left the boarding school and left her to her own devices. It had always been the way that Evan worked, and she still had her head wrapped around him. But she was tired of doing this dance with him, because she wanted to move along with her life. She had taken her life in a different direction than she imagined, she was now a fashion designer and that was what she wanted to do with her life. She went back home to start her new line, and that was what she was doing. Starting up her boutique, and maybe falling in love had been the goal, but then that blue eyed man had waltzed back into her life. She had finally picked up all the pieces of her life and was finally put back together and then he came back. He stirred up all the emotions she had before, and this was so hard on her. She clung for dear life to the life she had shared with him, that is until Noah walked into her life.

Kaler was not the kind of person who was careless with her; he protected her from everything, just like always. Maybe it was just the whole fact that they had just recently slept together after having a two year break. She was letting her love for her infect her being again, and letting herself slip into the hole she had once shared with her sadness. She wanted to love him, wanted him for herself, but that was never going to happen. It was not a way that he could just change how she loved about him, and she certainly did not believe that he changed how he loved her. She rambled on, but then she noticed how his face changed. Kaler knew exactly who Noah was, and the expression that he was wearing was not a good one. “What is wrong with Noah?”

[/color] As soon as the question slipped from her lips, Kaler had a response to it. He was being an ass hat himself and she put her hands on her hips. She was obviously displeased with this, and she spoke with a slight disdain. “Some could say the same thing about you Kaler Ryan. But Noah does not treat me like an ass hat. he treats me like a princess, and I don’t know. He treats me well and he wants to be with me. So why does it matter to you? You obviously don’t care since you found someone else to be with.”[/color] Instead of tears Evan was having the fire lit under her ass and was not happy with her good friend and ex.
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[kaler ryan scott]

One could say that Kaler was opinionated, and that would probably be something of an understatement. He was a blunt kind of individual and he didn’t try to spare feelings when he spoke. He told it like it was, and if you didn’t want to hear it, then you shouldn’t ask him. Kaler had never seen the point in tiptoeing around things, trying to be nice when it didn’t do any good because being nice was just a lie. If there was something positive to be said about the situation at hand, Kaler would say it, but he didn’t hold back on the negative parts of his opinion of it, either. He had never known how told hold his tongue and swallow his sometimes sharp and hurtful words, which was what had gotten him into trouble a lot of times and left him fighting with his fists instead. There were some professional instances in which Kaler could find some tact to have about him, and he probably should have tried to find it before he had opened his mouth and stated his thoughts on Evan’s new lover. Kaler was always there for this girl, one hundred percent, without question. He would never mean to hurt her feelings or to upset her, but he couldn’t just be told that she was falling for Noah Whitmore and not say what he was thinking. His opinion of Noah was pretty clear, as the two young men had butted heads from the moment that Kaler had arrived in Arietta two years ago. Kaler didn’t know what it was about the nightclub owner, but he hated him.

“Some could say the same about you Kaler Ryan.” Yeah, he should have seen that one coming, but it was whatever at this point. Kaler knew that he was indecent half of the time, and that he had earned every ounce of the reputation that he had, but that wasn’t the point. What got to Kaler the most was when she asked why it mattered to him, and said that it didn’t matter to him. He could tell that she was getting angry, but the look in his icy cold eyes should have been able to cut right through her. Kaler didn’t take offense to much, and didn’t let a whole lot bother him, but if she honestly thought that, then they had a problem. “You think that just because I’m with someone else that I stop caring about you? That it’s not going to matter to me who you’re with?” His intense gaze turned into something of a disappointed glare, his mind literally shouting “fuck you” at the girl if that was all that she thought of him. This time, he didn’t hold back his words, because no matter how hurt or disappointed he may have been, this was not the correct time to be swearing at her. “I care a lot Evan, and you should fucking know better than to assume that I stop caring about you and what’s going on in your life just because I am finally happy with someone. As for Noah, I just don’t like the guy. I’m sorry, but that isn’t going to change. The good news is that you’re the one that has to like him, not me.”

[evan arlene matthews]

She should have known that Kaler was not going to be polite about his opinions. He never was the one to sit there and not say what is on his mind. The two of them had always been able to tell each other everything, and now was no different. She could feel her skin getting hot and not because she was blushing. Normally Kaler would always make her blush, but no her skin was hot because of the anger that was brewing down inside the petite blonde. She was not a happy camper that this was happening, he was always that guy. It had never happened to her though, his mean spitefulness was never directed towards her, but here he was being spiteful. He had always said what he was on his mind, and that was nothing abnormal. He obviously did not like Noah, and for whatever reason that was he was not thrilled that she wanted to be with him. Her hands on her hips, she was not about to back down for this. She wanted what she wanted, and if he was able to go be happy with someone else why couldn’t she.

Evan was not about to let Kaler off the hook for this one, because he was just being an ass hat. He had this knack for being a jackass when it came to her. She did not understand it because if he cared about her he would not be a jerk. Kaler deserved every fiesty word that the blonde had to offer him. She just let her words slid off of her tongue, not caring about how hurtful she could be or what she was saying. She wanted to make a point; she wanted someone that wanted her back. Unfortunately that was not the man that she wanted, and she just stared at him and fought with him. Hearing him start to get angry made her want to fight back, because that is exactly what she felt. “Yes, that is exactly what I think. You don’t get to care about me or who I am dating! You lost that right Kaler, and don’t look at me all disappointed! You don’t get to do that!”

[/color] She could tell that he just wanted to scream at her, and that was what she wanted to do. She wanted to scream fuck you at him, because she hated what he was doing to her. Her eyes narrowed with intensity and she wanted to just slap him. He managed to make her so angry when he wanted to. “You don’t get to be angry with me Kaler. You don’t get to swear at me, and you don’t get do this. And thank you for making it perfectly clear that you are happy with someone else! Why can’t you just be happy for me!? Why don’t I get to be happy? Why do you always get to make me feel like I am two feet tall. You don’t get to be like this Kaler, why? Why do you do this to me!?”[/color] She was furious, but with him standing there she was so angry she had hit his chest with her little fists and she was so angry that a tear slid down her cheek again. Evan could not control her emotions around him and it was making her even more angry.
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[kaler ryan scott]

He honestly didn’t know what had gotten into the blonde haired woman’s mind that had made her so sure about him and his feelings, but Kaler wasn’t like this one bit. Not once in all the time that he had known Evan had he ever doubted how he felt about her, or doubted that she knew it. They were friends with a pretty intense past to share, and it was because of that past that Kaler would never be able to stop caring about Evan. He loved her, but it wasn’t the kind of love that person could build a life together around, not anymore. He cared about her, looked after her, and was extremely protective of her. Just because he had a new girlfriend didn’t mean that Kaler was bound to forget everything that Evan meant to him; he could be selfish, and he could be a genuine asshole when he wanted to be, but there was no forgetting a girl like Evan Matthews and what she had meant to him, what they had almost shared that would have lasted a lifetime if they had only just gotten it. Kaler didn’t know what kind of person she thought he was now, if she thought that he would cease to care, that he had cut her from the picture completely because he now had Vidette.

All that Kaler could wish for Evan was that she was happy, and if she thought she could be happy with someone as awful as Noah, then all the more power to her. Kaler was just stating his opinion, and he had told her that it wasn’t about him liking Noah. What mattered was that she liked him, and while Kaler wasn’t going to be fond of her decision, it was Evan’s decision to make. Her next outburst, though, totally blew Kaler away. Her words were coming out so fast, and so emotionally charged that it was hard to keep up and truly comprehend what she was saying, but dear god was she upset. Kaler didn’t think that he had ever seen something like this coming from Evan, and it broke his heart, scared him, and upset him all at the same time. He had no idea that she was this tormented, and that being around him and feeling what she did for him had pushed her this far. She started pounding her tiny fists against his broad chest, and Kaler reached up and took her small wrists into his hands, gently but firm enough to stop her. “Evan. Evan, look at me.” He got her to meet his eyes, and shook his head ever so slightly from side to side. “I’m not angry. And if I ever made you feel like you couldn’t be happy, or like you weren’t good enough, I didn’t mean it. I’m so sorry.” His voice held a completely different quality now, soft and smooth, somewhat sad and his eyes almost seeming to plead with her. “Forgive me, I never meant to hurt you. And if Noah is who makes you happy, then you should be with him.” Kaler slowly released his grasp on her wrists, letting his hands fall to his sides.

[evan arlene matthews]

Evan knew that she was being completely ridiculous whenever it came to how Kaler felt about her. She knew that he still cared about her, but at the same time she was just done with this whole feeling. She wanted to be done loving him, and if he could make her so angry. Anger was better than feeling that she wanted to be with him every day, right? That was what she needed to tell herself, but in the same time she was just tired of it all. She knew he was happy and she knew he deserved to be able to move on with his life. She did not need him to worry about her, and that might be why she was acting that way. Evan did not want him to care about her, because that meant that there was something still there. Her eyes were narrowed still fueled with anger. He had moved on, and that night when he was with Izzy, the same girl that he had said he cared, had meant something to her. She thought he wanted to be with her again, and that infuriated her more than anything that he is now with someone else. She knew that whatever love they share now in this moment was nothing to build a life over. That had long since past either of them, and she knew that. It was hard to let go, but she just wanted these feelings to go away. She had loved him for half of her life, and it was time to let go of the past for good.

The blonde girl just wanted to move on with her life and find someone that wanted to make her happy. She finally had the possibility to have something good in her life, and now she had Kaler telling her that he was an ass hat. How was that something that showed that he wanted her to be happy? That was what had set her off yelling at him, and she was not going to let go. Her words flew off of her tongue, trying to hurt him and being as mean as possible. Evan was not someone that took this lightly, and she had even started to hit his chest with her hands. Never had she let her temper get the better of her, and she knew that this was going to be hard not only for herself but for Kaler too. Never had he seen her so worked up over something, because the only other time she had been this worked up had been whenever he left. She just was so angry all the time, and now she felt like she was cutting him out and just losing her best friend. She felt him grab her wrists and she just broke down. Tears were flooding her eyes, and she was losing it. One second she was so angry that she was speaking a mile a minute, and now as he held onto her wrists she was sobbing. She heard him tell her to look at him, and that had taken a little bit to muster the strength to do it. The tears were rolling down her cheeks when she looked up to him, she listened to him carefully as he apologized to her. This was not what she needed. She did not need to be forgiving him, or having him look at her like that. “How are you not angry? You do, I know you don’t mean to, but you make it so hard to be happy. At least happy with anyone that is not you.”

[/color] Evan was still sobbing against him as he finally let go of her wrists. She was still trying to figure out what to say to him, but those eyes of his had her lost. He was pleading with her, and they were still able to speak to each other after all of these years just through the emotion that they focused in their eyes. She was sad, but forgiving and he knew that. “You know I forgive you Kaler, I always will. I know you never mean to, but sometimes you just do. Noah is the first person that can make me forget about you. I just want to find someone that wants me back.”[/color] She so badly wished that that someone was Kaler, but it was not. She leaned up and kissed him. Soft and sweet, nothing more than just a simple kiss. She still loved him, and that was never going to go away. “I don’t want to forget you; I just want to forget loving you.”[/color]
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[kaler ryan scott]

He honestly didn’t know how he managed to do this. There were now two women that he knew of that he had hurt because they didn’t think that they were good enough for him because he had chosen to be with Vidette. He had picked someone else instead of staying in a relationship Izzy, instead of turning around and running back into Evan’s wide and welcoming arms. Both Izzy and Evan were saying similar things to him, their hearts clearly breaking and Kaler having no idea how to fix it. He really didn’t know how he did it, or why they both had their hearts so clearly set on him. It was Kaler’s very honest opinion that he didn’t deserve either of the women that he had left pining over him. Hell, he didn’t even deserve the woman that had turned around and given him a second chance and Kaler knew that. He had hurt them all, in one form or another, and he would never know what they saw in that made them latch on so hard, and made it so difficult to let go. There were some aspects of Evan’s attachment that were more understandable, but even so Kaler didn’t see what made him worth all of this pain that she went through in her efforts to keep holding onto hope that one day she would be seen as enough for him, when really that wasn’t the case at all. She had been enough, had been all that Kaler had ever wanted at one point. It was just that things had changed.

Kaler didn’t know what kind of power he held over her that made her think that she couldn’t be happy with anyone else, but he wish there was a way to undo it if only for her sake, for her overall happiness. These tears…these tears were ones that were falling from her gorgeous eyes because of him, and if he could take it all back and be able to let her be happy, he would. He just wasn’t sure what all that would include taking back, and there were some memories he knew that he would miss too much. They were stuck this way, anyway, no way of undoing what had already been done. He listened as she told him how he made her feel, and listened with grateful ears as she said that she had forgiven him for doing all of this unknowingly. “I just want to find someone that wants me back.” And there it was again, her wanting him and him moving on to someone else, making her feel as though she weren’t enough. Kaler hated that more than anything, but he just didn’t know how to fix it. He was trying, but what else was there to say? She leaned up then, and pressed the softest, sweetest kiss to Kaler’s lips. It surprised him, but his lips’ automatically responded, kissing her back despite every reason he had as to why he shouldn’t. It was just an innocent kiss, though, and Kaler wouldn’t deny her something so simple now. Evan pulled away from him, her words saddening but understandable. He leaned in, resting his forehead against hers in that old way they always had. “I don’t know how to tell you to do that,” he said, speaking softly as he brought both hands up to the sides of her face now, wiping away tears as he had done before. “I wish I did, though. I want you to be happy, Evan. Don’t ever doubt that.” He pulled away from her then, offering a soft smile while his hands still lingering against the soft skin of her face. God, why did this have to be so fucking difficult?

[evan arlene matthews]

The blonde girl had always known that there was no future with Kaler. Ever since they lost their baby, things had changed. She knew that, but parts of her clung to the innocence that she had possessed whenever she was with him. Evan had let herself slip into a downward spiral her senior year, but that was who she was. She was allowed to be broken and sad and everything like that. That was who the blonde was, but at the same time she was always able to pick up the pieces of herself without much help. There had been the boy from boarding school who was still by her side when Kaler was gone, and now there was Noah. It was nice to know that people still managed to care about her, but this as Kaler and Evan. Things did not magically get better with them, and she knew that no matter how much she wanted him to want her and see that she was enough for him, because they had once been happy it was never going to happen. The two of them had left that life behind them, and their lives had changed. She still had hope for him, and pieces of her heart were always going to be his. She knew that, just the same that she knew that pieces of his heart would always be hers.

She knew that tears always got to Kaler, especially whenever he felt responsible. Her intent was not to make him feel guilty, but it was him. It was always him that had kept her from relationships. He was the one that her heart wanted, and she knew that it was stupid to fight what the heart wanted. That was why she had come there, she needed to stop loving him. Make him understand that she needed him to basically tell her that there was never going to be another reason for her to keep her hopes up. She needed to know that he did not want her, because that was what she needed in her life. Evan needed to stop wanting to be with someone who obviously did not want her, and find someone that wanted her back. Someone that could eventually love her as much as she was capable of loving. She knew that Kaler could, but he was so wrapped up in the other women in his life that he would never have room for her. Not in any way but as a friend. After she kissed him, it seemed clear that she was going to have to move on. It was simple, and any girlfriend would have to understand that this was something she had to do. If they didn’t then she could just kiss her ass, but then his forehead was against hers. It was like they always did whenever something was bothering either of them. It was their thing, and she really thought it was something special between them. She felt his hands against her cheeks wiping away her angry tears, and then he spoke to her soft and gentle. “I don’t know how to tell you to do that. I wish I did though. I want you to be happy, Evan. Don’t ever doubt that.” The worst part was that she knew he meant it, but when his fingers lingered against her skin she had a hard time keeping the same strength that she had when she came in. She moved closer to him wrapping her hands around him, and then pulling her little frame against him. Evan let herself get lost in him, laying her head against his chest. “I know you do, and you make it damn difficult for me to stand my ground and stop loving you. Kaler I don’t know if I will ever stop loving you, but you are happy now, right? And as long as you are happy then I will be able to move on and find my own way of being happy. I promise.”

[/color] She lifted her head slightly and caught his lips again, quick and sweet. She didn’t need his girlfriend being upset with her and thinking she was stealing her man.
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